Today I was feeling very gloomy since morning...No particular reason, just one of those days were you just don't feel good about yourself...Anyways, life doesn't really give u a choice so I went around my busy day doing things putting my mood on a backburner...Came home at 6:30, had a cup of coffee and did some domestic chores that were pending since a longtime....A friend called, I asked him to call later, in no mood to talk apparently....
Finally, I went to check mail at my mailbox outside my building and there in the courtyard I saw a friend's hammock tied between 2 trees....I sat, then tried to relax rocking myself gently in the hammock with cool breeze filling my heavy lungs with loads of air...all of sudden I started singing Hindi songs and that's when I realised what was bothering me since morning.....It was HOME..my country India, that which I miss all the time..I am not much of a crier, yet I was nostalgic and all of a sudden all kinds of songs came to my mind..Some reminding me about Mummy & Daddy, some about school and college friends, some just about India and my life there....
You might think there is something terribly wrong with my life in the US for me to feel so depressed..Nope there is nothing wrong..Life couldn't have been better..I just graduated from Stanford, a great school with a wealth of opportunities..I was looking for a job, I have more than one to choose from, I am healthy, hearty....all's well with my family and friends....There is basically no need for me to be unhappy...Yet I didn't feel good the whole day today...WHY, I OFTEN ASK MYSELF THIS QUESTION ?!
Then I think maybe it was the long 40 minute phone conversation with Mom & Dad last night that's on my mind and is emancipating in different forms today..But no this is not a one time occurrence..It keeps happening, sometimes once a week, once a month or........Yet the yearning never leaves my heart...That yearning to go back to India.....
These days I often think about life ahead and this what I always decide: "I'll work with a great hi-tech company in the US (or the World for that matter) for 3 years, gain good business exposure, then maybe go to B-school (if I think its worth it at that time!) and then go back and work in INDIA either for a global company or preferably start my own venture..."
Seems like a good plan.. Huh! Will it work out..Life is never perfect and I have heard stories of many people who wanted to do the same thing but then got stuck in the rat race here and never could go back...Maybe these are people who always wanted to settle in the States....I never wanted...I was and am too much in love with that corrupted, full of problems developing nation of mine ! I came to the US because this was the kind of education I wanted after finishing my Bachelors in Engineering from India...My undergrad studies had left me disillusioned and highly confused with what I wanted to do with my life...Masters at Stanford in MS&E has given me just the education I wanted - graduate coursework closer to the industry focused on real business problems rather than theoretical stuff which is what the education system in India teaches one...
So ya, here are the PROS for which I came here: for the opportunities to study, explore and work in areas which haven't started blossoming in India as career professions as yet! The same is the main reason why 1/4th of the Silicon Valley is filled with Indians staying in the US...Plus there are other small factors like a comfortable life- a cool sports car, house, the fun stuff about traveling and exploring this whole wide country called the US of A.. Also hey I forgot there is the other good reason the $$$$$ - the money..C'mon who doesn't need the money plus you could or hey your family could lead an awesome life in India given what you earn here gets converted to 50 times in the Indian currency.....
All this and people are happy....Really my own dear friends and relatives want to live in the US all their life and are in the painful process of their Green Card applications...Nothing wrong with their choice hey.....
But ME I don't know the way my mood swings everytime I remember "Chitti Ayyi Hai Watan se Chitti Aiyi Hai" - a Hindi song which means a letter has come from your motherland, I get a big lump in my throat and I want to run back to India....What attracts me to India..Well India has its PROS too -- be closer to parents and take care of them in their old age, those parents who came from a modest background and gave me and my sister a great life, education, independence, strength, exposure and the guts to Dream Big & Live your Dreams....Then there is also the feel good thing -- eating Gol Guppe and Pav Bhaji with friends on the beach, fighting in the regional language with the maid, postman and what not...! I just love it....And then who knows maybe 10 years from now Bangalore will be the next Silicon Valley (I mean real Bigtime!)..That would be great the Indian lifestyle, the career opportunity that knows no bounds..Sure the money will be less but that's okay - I never wanted and will never want a King's life....I should have just enough to pursue all my passions....
Hey guys that was my take on life in India vs. USA..my perspective, my bull-headed opinion,,,I now realize a very haphazard and going all over the place kinda discussion.. thats enough to bore people for know...Ha :)
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Opinionated notes on every day life - business, school, sports, society, personal life, products, culture.
About Me
- Opasna
- Delhi, India
- Millions of questions, zest for adventure, intolerance for incompetence, a fan of customer friendly products - that's me!
Labels
- life (38)
- arts (32)
- school and work (27)
- india (19)
- health and sports (18)
- feminism (6)
- travel (6)
- book (5)
- etc (5)
29 comments:
Yeah There is a tradeoff. But you anytime could take your parents there with you.
I would suggest you take a job there, spend few months there, then come back to India, spend couple of months over here and after that you ask same quetion to yourself. May be you could have better picture by that time.
This decision is going to affect not just you but your next generations too.
Best luck.
- Mahesh.
Yeah I agree with the writer. I am sure millions of INDIAN feel the same way, somehow I always thought that I was unique in my opinion. As for comment from Mahesh, the future generation is precisely the reson I want to go back. I have had a lot of interaction with the american people here, and know a few things how shredded families are here. I am not being critical, they have their own lifestyle and there are a lot of things about the Indian lifestyle that are just unacceptable to them too(arranged marriage for instance). Its just a way of living and I don't think I am ready for it yet.
The education is free till 12th (in a public school) but to think of it one reason I respect my parents so much is that I know they gave up so much of their own to give me a decent education. In fact I am about to graduate with MS and am looking for jobs in India.
I will try and elaborate on the future generation part more in a future blog maybe.
I agree with the writer. After being so many years in US, still do not feel like I belong to this country. I am not sure if I will ever be able to call myself a citizen of USA even though if I get my citizenship. I am also not sure if I would like my kids to be called as Americans even though deep in heart I know I want them to be indians. Its wise to be there where we feel the sense of belonging. And we all belong to India. I wish I can go back soon.
I feel the exact same way hence me googling "Life in India vs USA". I am in the USA for 3 years now but I always feel like something is missing. Even though you mostly make Indian friends here and do things you do in India....eat pani puri, pav bhaji with friends..yeah fighting with maid doesn't happen :), still there is no belonging. The reason I came to the USA was to make good money and get exposure in life but I cannot ignore this strong feeling within me that tells me to go back to India. My concern though is India is changing very fast..my idea of India is of when I left India. I feel what if I go back and get disappointed. India is picking up so many things from western culture...reality shows, indian idol, dressing sense, talking sense, etc I feel youth of India is taking for the most part bad things. My cousins who used to call me didi, call me babes now bcoz they have seen it on MTV and think it's cool. MTV reality show Splitsvilla gave me an attack...when girls would dress up slutty and fight with each other on TV just to get a guy in the end. I have interacted with many Indian Americans and I don't want my kids to grow up like them. I mean nothing wrong with them..it's just that they seem to be so lost bcoz of identity crisis. I don't know what's better, life in India or USA. I am hoping to find an answer for myself in sometime though!
--Nisha
Very nice article left a big lump in my throat....
Hey Buddies,
I am so happy that there are lot of co Indians out here who feel the same way as I do. As the main focus of the lingering question which never gets resolved to me is:-
1. Is there a amount of time, after which its better to go back to India.
2. (If/any) Quantified figure of money required to lead a comfortable life in India.
I think the comparison itself is wrong. There is a saying "There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so."
We have to see where we feel more connected to life; where we feel more happier. It depends individual to individual so there are no hard core rules. India and US both have some positives. The life demands to see positives where God has destined to us.
Indian kids have something good as do americans. Yes its part of our culture that we feel bounded even after staying in States for long time. Thats why people call Indians emotional fools.
US culture makes a person more independent and confident. I am not saying we shdnt take care of our families and parents.
the idea is to stop comaprison. We have to underatand we cannot search a US in India or India in US.
Typically this is what happens. We try to see India in US live in indian way and all. When we return we miss that US of ours.
Again just thoughts.
Best wishes
"I was and am too much in love with that corrupted, full of problems developing nation of mine !"
Can identify with this feeling ! :-)
I feel it is the presence of values inside us that subconsciously affects our thinking and subsequently our levels of satisfaction and happiness.
If money was the only reason , then the US would have been the happiest country in the world, but today it is far from it, grappling with 'shredded' family ties, astounding divorce rates, disturbing increase in number of teenaged pregnancies,shootouts at campuses etc..
Indians living in US are unfortunately or fortunately ( depends upon ur viewpoint) are carrying the cultural values which are 'deep rooted' in their psyche, hence the problems like identity crisis, and ephemeral quest of happiness in a land(US) which inspite of our best efforts looks increasingly alien.
HI Guys,
I agree with you all guys. I get dreams of my days in India and here. I owe my motherland India a lot. I want to serve for my India. Its just amazing to stay there. You see smiles on face of poor and wealthy. Here, you can earn good money, but what you will do with good money. You and your wife with kids, just 4 wants to enjoy money. I dont think that I will enjoy the money I will earn.
Better always best to go back India after a year experience, work theri, my mother will be most happy, she wont cry for me anymore, she is always there for me to cook and ask did i took my lunch, dinner. I have friends there who will not think even a moment to spend 500Rs for me, unlike here, you swallow a rock to spend a dollar for somebody.. hahahah I dont want to be miser and mean. I want to smile and stay happy, rather earning money znd still apply for loans for house or car to build credit history.
One more year and i will be back to India forever.
I live in canada and after reading the article I feel so glad to know that its not only me who get those mood swings once in a while and feel that something is missing in my life although I have a wonderful wife and son.
Being thinking of it for a long time I think its time to make that move.
cheers
I am in the process of moving back. I recently traveled quite a few times. When I did I was looking at India from the viewpoint of living and not from the viewpoint of visiting my parents. Both are totally different.
This India is not the same that I left 12 years. There are so many changes. Life has become harder, traffic is a mess, infrastructure is a mess, pollution is crazy, corruption feels even more rampant, every one seems to be in a hurry and money has become the ultimate king.
I am bit concerned, if I will be happy there or not. I going to try it and see
Hello everyone,
First of all, kindly dont consider me a cynic. Think about my view point. I have been thinking about the answer. US or India since few months, i came here. I would surely appreciate, if you guys could give me a different view point than mine. As i like it, when i am proved wrong. It gives life a new perspective.
Well, starting with my story. Let me tell you a bit of my past, so that you understand,how and why i am gonna choose my stance. I am a modern urban guy brought up in India. Possibly i might have stayed with the wrong people or what, but i really had some bad experiences in India. I am a muslim of a non practising kind. I do all normal shit, what everyone else does. I belong to the Bollywood industry of our homeland. Wont like to reveal more. I have been discriminated in India many times because of my religion. I have been asked my religion before my name, and every time someone realizes that i am a muslim, either they dont believe it or they look at me with surprise. I have not been able to buy a house in some of the best area's in mumbai even when i had money. That is because i was a muslim. Well, all my friends are from different religion and even my gf is from a different religion. As i am a non practising kind, neither the muslims accepted me. And the rest of the people looked at me with a surprise. Have been in gujarat during the gujarat riots, i have seen the wrath of human nature.
After coming to US, it was the first time that no one asked me about my religion. No one ever asked me about anything else other then my work. I am a doctor by profession and that work title just mattered to me in the US. I just love India, more then anything, because my whole family is in India. I feel alone out here, and i miss india very dearly. If i go back to india, after a few years, i bet, i am gonna have a good career, because of an american doctorate (on top of my Indian doctorate), and some good influences. But i would never wish to be asked that question again, which still haunts me at times " Sir, which caste you belong to ? So even when i miss India, so badly, i have decided to opt for US. Discrimination against me in the past, is the only factor that is ruling out my option for India.
Continued ........
I am aware about the negative points of US. US has one of the highest AIDS incidences. It is an epidemic out here. Compared to Indian traditional values, it is shit out here. People dont care about anyone. America has one of the highest crime rates. Maximum shootouts in the Western world happen here. About 11, 495 people die every year due to the shoot out. I have had many American friends to understand them deeply. They have many good values even like they believe in wealth for everyone. They believe all Individuals are equal. Hence there is zero tolerance policy against Discrimination. They do a lot for their society. " Warren Buffet ", one of the greatest thinkers of America, and the second richest man of the world (once upon a time was the richest; i think 2008), has donated 85 % of wealth to the society. He is going to donate all after he dies. It wont be passed on to his children. It will be passed on to professors for research or to developing countries like africa for need based donation. Secondly, he is not going to keep wealth in his name. His wealth will go to Bill and Melinda Gates foundation (yes he is the same bill gates whom you think he might be. World's richest man, who is supposedly to donate even his wealth for the goodness of society). So they do a lot for the society and not just for themselves or their children. They believe in universal equality and wealth. Which is really nice.
Secondly all Indian students who have been brought up in US. Basically they wont talk to new Indians who come to US from India (they think we are remote, as they have the old impression about poor rural India, they have not seen the developed India. Secondly, they have a huge inferiority complex somehow. They will consider indian coming from india as low, while americans as great. Indeed all american friends of mine, actually wanted to retire in india, after i told them about india and its benefits. I bet, i didnt tell them about my discrimination experiences.. lolz..)
America is one country, where just a documentary filmaker like Michael Moore can challenge the president of America (George Bush). He did that in his film FARENHEIT 9/11. People out here are aware the war in iraq happened because of oil mystery. While if you ask a normal India, they might not be aware about any issue.
Many pure white american friends have told me that if they go to any other western country, except their own, the general people dont like them. American friends of mine, have owned up themselves, that they never tell anyone outside america that they are americans. I guess only Asian countries, and gulf countries are in awe for America. Rest the other countries think this country bullies other countries. Which is not a fair trial on aspect of humanity.
Coming to the level of insanity out here related to drugs, let me tell you that it is really high. People here go insane in the name of drugs. Almost all my students (i teach medical students out here at the university), take weed, or hash. Its rampant like anything. But then i feel it all depends on how you bring up children. I have many cousins in India, who are addict to the usage of drugs. So i feel India is trying to become more and more Americanized. And the worse part is that we dont have any NGO or good organizations that can control all this shit. If you challenge a minister in India, you might be dead the second day. That is how it goes in India.
Continued .....
I guess i have revealed all the good and bad points, that came to my mind, after staying 2 decades in India, and 1 decade in US. I would have personally preferred India, on some factors, but the main factor in my life is that i want my children to grow up in a cosmopolitan society. My gf is also a catholic from a non american country. And i would appreciate zero tolerance policy against discrimination. A society which is just and believes in doing a lot for their society. Thus i bet on America for my future life. I know i am gonna miss India very badly, and so i keep on going to India, every year for vacations. But i would still prefer America the place to live my whole freaking life.
I guess based on the factors mentioned above, you can approve or disapprove it. I have told my perception, and you can have yours. It all depends on yourself.
France is still considered one of the best places on earth to retire. Its very expensive. I am doing my research on that country, due to medical benefits of old age. So you can have a look at that. See, if you like considering other options.
Best of luck guys.
Jai Hind !!
This is EXACTLY how I feel. I met tons of people in that moved from India to US like a decade ago and they think US is better. I agree, US is good. However, the happiness and enjoyment people have in India is priceless. Playing cricket with friends in summer, going out and eating chat on the roads, Diwali enjoyment...what not. But, I dont have a choice since I am just 17 and I am dependent on my parents. Once I start college here in 4 months, thats it...I have to settle here for 11 more years until medical school is completed. Regrets regrets!!
There is always a reason for the limp to say, a wheelchair is not primary. so is here, limps say us is better but when they are at the end of the life show, they realise they have been a limper and shall keep their heirs and foes limps as well.
there s a lot of meaning in there. people who realize will gain back to india
I would like to share my views on the 'Return to India' syndrome that so many of us have here.
First of all I feel comparison is not the way to go about this.
How can we compare two countires which are entirely different in all aspects? It would make some sense in comparing life in UK vs US as both are new from an Indian perspective and both are western cultures.
So I am not game for comparison which will only deceive us from reality.
Key for me to decide where I would prefer to settle is HAPPINESS !
So my take on every point and would be based on the 'happiness' factor.
1) Independent , non interfering life in US.......
But for how long would I want this independent life to continue? When Iam young Iam happy about such a life.But we are talking of people in 30's,how will life be when just the husband and wife live for each other inside 4 walls day in and day out? Working for 5 days and doing grocery shopping,cleaning etc during weekends..Its always just about the husband and wife and their house.
Is life all about going to shopping malls and weekend outings?
2)You cannot afford to hire someone for house keeping in US.
In India its always about you and OTHERS around you.You can give job to a maid for house keeping which not only gives you luxury but you get a satisfaction of giving some one employment.You meet 100s of people everyday,you advice and discuss with your family/friends,you can give job to someone by hiring car driver,you can visit parents anytime or even better stay with them forever and needless to talk about those countless functions..Its always about others and you not just about YOU !!This makes a huge difference to satisfaction in life.
3)Next is the weather...However great US maybe, when winter arrives, you have to sit at home for 6 months with heaters on and restrict your travelling...
Talking about travelling, when you are in US , your vacations every year will invariably be only to India.For those 2 months of seeing mom and dad back home...Since parents get old, they cannot visit US often like us, so the only choice is us visiting them after a point in time...But if we are in india, we can travel all over the world every year during hollidays and we get a global perspective and not just going back and forth between India and US.
4)Doing business...
How practical is to to start business in US?
US is a land of opportunities and innovation but its 45 times costlier than India.To manage a family with 2 kids every month requires atleast one of couples to work for ever.The other can start a business but then who will take care of kids and pay for the grannies?
Just because US is beautiful, you cannot live anywhere.You should live near a PUBLIC school for your child's education as not many can afford private school...With all these confusions,only option is to work forever.But in India you can survive with $500 per month and think of doing business as market is all about India with 1 billion consumer class.Anyday business would give you more joy than working UNDER someone.
There is much more...My bet INDIA !!
I agree with you.Gone is the generation which wanted to escape from problems and preferred settling in a comfortable ALIEN land.This generation is all about taking problems in hand and solving it head on.So go back to your motherland fight the problems and use your US experience to create change back home !Future is for the brave.
why in their right would anyone want to go back to india....if u feel nostalgic go watch a bollywood movie or something!
hey spark u may not stick on 2 the same opinion after a decade/
I guess each person as different priorities and soon you realise yours that, its easy to make a good decision..
Hey Opasna ,
I am exactly where you were 7 years ago , presuming you wrote this somewhere in `2004. I dont know if you still here or you went back (Didn't take the time and efforts to read all the posts if you have updated something).. But I have a question for you .. People change, and so does perspective , choices and other things .. So if I were to ask you today, how would you answer it !
1) If you are still here , do you think you made a good choice
2) Or if you went back, was it a mistake ??
Hi i am a 30 year old guy from India and since last few months i was considering about going to usa or canada for a better life,
The reason why i feel nostalgic in my own city is because out my 10 cousins 8 are outside India and 2 are in other cities and out of my school batch of 150 almost 120 are out of my city because of IT , now i still feel very lonely on weekends and i get frustrated because inflation has really become very high and there is lot of lawlessness and these politicians are very selfish and when anna hazare tried to change the system all the parties ensured it doesn't happen, plus i am fed up of constant traffic jams, irrelevant town planning and crime and rising costs , i am not sure of what i should do, but if things don't change life would become a real mess here.
Rgds
i think living life in our own country india is better than living in USA.....for only only one reason
Here you can be with your parents at their last stage.....Think that you receive a phone call from somebody that your father or mother has died here and the body will be freezed for you until u come here.....is this everyone expecting ...who wants to live in US.......Its very harsh to say but this is true...............
For me its simple - its not where you live but how you live that matters.
As for emirating to a new country- its always tough to let go of your bonds, we are humans, not robots. Life in any place is what you make of it Some people have this undying urge to live in India and also for some US is everything. What I have realised is that life is too short for unnecessary compromises. If your heart really tells you to do something, you should do it.
I totally understand the writer's viewpoint of how we feel in US. I am a mom to a toddler and living/working in US for last 6+ years. Life is super busy with kids and really no time to think, have friends and wonderful coworkers. Despite having everything I want, I feel I don't belong here ... this is not my country, not my culture. I miss our Indian festivals, family and cousins, childhood friends whose friendship is very different from our US friends'. Just about everything seems ok and easy but there is something missing ... always!!
Seeing kids play alone in house ... I recall my childhood days of playing with neighborhood friends, out in sand and dirt and pollution ... just pure bliss!! My son is missing all that fun here .. nothing like Indian neighborhood. Playdates are such a formal business here.
No matter how easy and simple life is in US, I don't feel home here. I will go back soon to my country, my family and friends!
well, i went recently to america and stayed there for three weeks. trust me i didnt find it more crazy than india, i swear. if you no friends, buddies, families to share your happiness... then the $$$$ we earn really sucks..
may be its less pay here in india, but things are cheaper here. i love to stay here than there, reason being i am just an emotional guy.
hills look very beautiful from far, but you will find the hardness if you go near.
for me america looked like an hilllll compared to india.
Post a Comment