Where is this coming from? I had a weird day with an amazing number of things eventually going my way, which obviously has reinforced the idea of life's goodness in me.
I started the day late (my usual) at 10:30 am, was on my way to the city (as we like to call San Francisco) still in my 3 year old Toyota. When will I start riding my Kawasaki Ninja to the city? Confidence, where art thou? Reached my destination - the Indian consulate 10 minutes late but viola they agreed to let me in and accept my application for a mundane certificate! Come back in 4 hours, she said curtly.
With 3.5 hours to kill, I was in my adventure mode! I called a friend in San Jose for directions to her favorite sushi place called Blowfish. From a sushi point of view, I didn't like it much! Sushi in San Diego beats everything else I have eaten so far except of course the very spicy Dracula Killer roll that I had at Sushi Zen. At Blowfish, I enjoyed my white tea, the wasabi, free parking (yohoo), good service and the tranquility of my lunch! I actually thought thru a lot of stuff that was circling in my mind last 2 weeks. Cool kicker - a woman next to me was wearing my favorite tee - the Life is good brand :). As I walked out of Blowfish, my life was suddenly good - instead of chastising myself for wasting my life I had 3 strong plans in mind to make life meaningful!
Moved on to a Starbucks nearby, got very disturbed and frustrated with my online search results. I was looking for a 2008 research grant or fellowship to apply for in order to pursue some of my social ideas in Africa and Asia. To my dismay, 99% of US university/foundation sponsored fellowships are reserved for US citizens; even my own school Stanford is no different! The same applies if I would like my US school to recommend me for an international fellowship - limited to US citizens only. I thought - okay well, I can apply for these international fellowships with India as the recommending country; unfortunately in order to qualify person must be residing currently and immediate past 2 years in India :(! My manic search, terror and frustration had no limit as I kept looking and looking till I found a few grants which said "citizenship no bar". The reality of my situation stuck with me for a few hours - I've been living in US for last 5 years, my parents have been in Africa for a decade and my sister has been in US and Canada; maybe I am just a global citizen?!
For anyone interested here is a list of websites (in no order) to checkout for social fellowships/grants:
http://chronicle.com/cgi2-bin
http://www.ierf.org/grants.asp
http://www.scholarshipsinindia
http://www.globalartsvillage
http://daily.stanford.edu
http://www.stanford.edu/dept
http://www.pdsoros.org/about
http://www.yale.edu/iefp
http://www.yale.edu/macmillan
http://library.stanford.edu
http://www.gsb.stanford.edu
http://www.socialedge.org
http://www.ashoka.org/team
http://draperrichards.org
http://www.ksg.harvard.edu
http://www.acumenfund.org
http://www.globalknowledge.org
http://www.ysei.org/?q=node/7
http://socialvc.net/index.cfm
http://www.skollfoundation.org
http://www.idealist.org/career
Last minute delays ensued due to my disbelief at Google on not providing useful answers to my fellowship question! Further, as expected traffic jams on Vanness ensured I was late even to pick my passport at the consulate. The lady helping me bickered in English "Indians are always late", I smiled, reviewed the certificate and told her the passport number on the certificate was wrong. She asked me to wait as she had the corrections made. This time she bickered in Gujarati to her colleague! Of course I understood every freaking word she said, the fact that I don't look Gujarati goes a long way in amusing me :) Laugh Out Loud!
With all the documents in hand I was headed home, a good view of the ocean persuaded me to get lost. I drove aimlessly for 30 minutes before landing at Cafe Lo Cubano. I realized the only 2 times I have truly enjoyed San Francisco is when I have wandered aimlessly - today and last year for my "Out of the Darkness Overnight" marathon!
Some more espresso, 2 more hours of search this time for non-profit jobs and nothing! Unrelenting unrest was building up inside me as I found myself locked in my current life. The brick house with bricks literally jutting out at the intersection of Presidio and Clay give me a few minutes of amusement relief. Later, the passive aggression I directed at myself was unbelievable - I was already at Foster City before I got out of my dazed driving. And eureka, it hit me (no, not a car)! I had an idea - this changes everything...I am no more locked, the wings are out and ready to fly! The sky is blue and beautiful, there are clusters of white and black clouds but now I have a destination, navigating through is just the fun execution part :)
No comments:
Post a Comment